Outlands Community USA

ROY:  Llam has kindly let me take over the blog today for a special rant.  Thanks, Blue!  For several years now I've been reading about how vaccinating your kids can lead to them developing autism.  This is a common-sense thing because noticeable signs of autism appear at about the same time that little children are given the multiple vaccinations required in most jurisdictions in America.  However, it is a common-sense ERROR.  A big and fatal error.  There have been a number of studies since this aberrant idea first got abroad, and all of them show no link between autism and vaccination.  The man who first promoted this idea, Dr. Andrew Wakefield of the UK, has been exposed for falsifying his data and making a good bundle of money off of his lies to boot.  You might wish to read about it here:   http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2009/02/andrew-wakefield-exposed-as-fraud.html

Keep in mind that I am 61 and I often joke that I remember seeing Model-T Fords on the streets of my hometown, steam locomotives in train stations and biplanes in the sky.  I say this because it's true.  Let me put it another way: it is now the 21st century; I was born before the middle of the 20th, some scant three years after the close of World War 2.  We celebrated "VJ Day" and "VE Day" as national holidays back then; "VJ" stood for "Victory over Japan" and "VE" stood for "Victory over Europe."  Quaint and ancient, right?  Here's something else from those not-so-halcyon days of my childhood: I had measles (four times), mumps (twice), chickenpox (three times) and rubella (twice); the vaccines which have all but eradicated these diseases weren't then available.  In 1955 Dr. Jonas Salk introduced the first vaccine for polio (poliomyelitis) and my mother was overjoyed.  Children from her generation not only caught polio, some of them died from it.  And she often spoke of the triumph of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who'd had it yet lived long enough to rise up out of his wheelchair to show it hadn't beaten him.  Smallpox was not around much in America then, at least not where we lived; but it was common enough around the world.  All of these diseases were either eradicated or minimalized through vaccination.

Today there is a frightening trend for parents to opt out of vaccinating their kids.  There has always been a small minority who have opted out under what are called "philosophical choice" laws, which allows a parent to base their decision not so much on medical facts but upon what their spiritual or philosophical beliefs tell them; and if you're thinking that this is similar to the Jehovah's Witnesses declining blood transfusions, you're correct.  However what is happening today is an emotion-fueled movement headed up by the likes of Jenny McCarthy, Don Imus, Senator Joel Lieberman and actor Jim Carrey.  Without doing an ad hominem on any of these people, safe to say that their information is bogus and the things they say in print, at seminars, on line and in the media are largely rhetoric based upon false information - such as the brazen lies of Andrew Wakefield.  If it stopped there it probably would be bad enough, but some of the world's leading researchers and developers of vaccines have had their lives threatened by people in the anti-vaccine camp -  Dr. Paul Offit, for example.  There was an interview with him in WIRED recently that you ought to read:   http://www.wired.com/magazine/2009/10/ff_waronscience/   It not only contains the interview but a lot of facts about vaccines and vaccination of which you might not be aware.

As a tangent to this, I personally haven't made up my mind about the H1N1 Flu; there is plenty of information about it at the Center for Disease Control (CDC) website for you to decide for yourself, and you can do that here:   http://www.cdc.gov/H1N1FLU/  But there is plenty of bogus BS going on about it.   One of the big ones is that the US government is going to force everyone to get the vaccine.  Those pushing this paranoid lie are just that:  liars.  The documents which they purport to have, supposedly liberated with the Freedom of Information Act, are bogus.  How to tell?  They're printed on paper which is 8 1/2" by 11".  So what?, you say.  This is what: during World War 2, one of the ways that the government decided to save money was by reducing the size of its document paper to 8" by 10".  Next time you fill out a tax return to the IRS, measure the paper; the laws are still in effect.  Add to this that the Feds would need the co-operation of at least 30,000,000 policemen and National Guardsmen to enforce such a thing and this dumbass house of cards collapses.

A word to the wiseguy from the steward of the Outlands Community USA

LLAM:  "Yawn evil forces yawn?"  What kind of title is that?

ROY:  It annoys me when something or someone living in fear bothers us.  I thought we were transparent to all of that.

LLAM:  Generally we are, but your words are the give-away.  You said 'transparent,' not 'invisible.'

ROY:  Oh yeh.  Bit of a technical difference there I suppose.

LLAM:  We're very well protected, after all we have Kebloth, Kath and the rest watching over us, but there will always be the occasional guerrilla action against us.  Or gorilla action.

ROY:  You made a joke!

LLAM:  I try!

ROY:  I suppose I'm forgetting my roots, but why would something evil seek to pull us down?

LLAM:  You are indeed forgetting your roots.  Are you that far way from living in constant terror and anger?

ROY:  Perhaps I am.  (looks thoughtful)

LLAM:  And?

ROY:  I recall some things very well, actually.  I couldn't imagine genuine altruism, or people acting without selfishness or fear.  That wasn't so long ago.

LLAM:  You've changed some, yes.

ROY:  One would kind of hope!  Man, it was so hard at first......  I clearly remember walking to the market one morning and realizing that the world is not a threat.  That was about five years ago.

LLAM:  We had just arrived here, I remember that day also.  I had thought, that must have been the end of a very long process for you.

ROY:  The only time I ever recall living without any fear was one day - one day, mind you - when I was seven.  My mother was happily occupied two houses away with a neighbor for three or four hours.  I was in the backyard playing with my dog and building a magical castle in the birdbath.  By some miracle she forgot about me.

LLAM:  The memory is giving you a warm glow.  Literally!

ROY:  I'm glowing to you?

LLAM:  Yes, and I do believe that it's the sunlight from that day stored within you.

ROY:  Am I supposed to say "huh?" here?

LLAM:  (smiles)  Normally you might!

ROY:  I got the explanation of what you meant with what you told me.  You're saying that all of our days are stored within us?

LLAM:  As well as a cellular system can store information, yes.

ROY:  You mean, it's not a perfect system.

LLAM:  No, not really.  It's kind of like a Microsoft operating system, it does what it wants, not what you want.  And it does this in a physical system that is always replacing its components.  It actually works remarkably well, I must say.

ROY:  What about you?  You've no physical body by normal definitions, at best you're a group of photons, right?

LLAM:  Perhaps a combination of photons and neutrinos would be a better description, although not a comprehensive one.  That is, if Dr. Harms doesn't mind me appropriating his terminology.

ROY:  Why the neutrinos?

LLAM:  Structured things need a framework is the best that I can say here.  This is actually something akin to the subject with which we began our conversation.  You've said any number of times that we appear as little balls of light when you truly perceive us.

ROY:  Sara has said the same thing.

LLAM:  It's a convenience which is modulated by perception.  I "see" myself in the same way, but I know that my........photons, as it were, are clustered around a framework of neutrinos.  Normally, can you see your skeleton?

ROY:  No.

LLAM  I had a concern you might start talking about how you were injured and your bones were sticking out through your flesh.

ROY:  Not yet.

LLAM:  If you wished, you could see your skeleton, or your internal organs.  But you have no need, so you do not.

ROY:  I have no desire, either.  But you're describing how certain kinds of "healers" operate, in that they can see a person's insides.

LLAM:  Like telepathy, I guess, it takes a bit of practice.  And inclination.  But see here, in saying that I'm composed of photons and neutrinos, this is just one more convenience by which we might understand ourselves.  It is better taken as an analogy.  Now, in keeping with this analogy, let us say that a person who lives more by love than fear, well, let us say that that person's "body" is composed of photons.  A person who lives largely in fear is composed largely of neutrinos.

ROY:  I suppose that this is the origin of equating "light" with "good" and "darkness" with "evil."  I always thought that human language determined things like that.

LLAM:  As an operating principle, it does.  But then if you think about it, what determines language?

ROY:  Okay, I see, I've been saying that language is a kind of a priori "given," that nothing precedes it.  Hmm! 

LLAM:  Well, everything has a father.

ROY:  I don't believe that you're quoting Picasso at me!

LLAM:  You have a habit of quoting Cicero at me.  (smiles)

ROY:  So, if we are occasionally visible to the forces of fear in the world it is because we share the same basic make-up on this level?

LLAM:  Yes, inasmuch as we share this photon - neutrino structure.

LLAM:  Well, I suppose that it looks nice.  You really should not go to such trouble, you know.  I'm really just a ball of light.  So are you and everyone else, for that matter.

ROY:  Look here though, Llam, some of us think that you're a pretty special ball of light.  Your guidance and wisdom here and abroad has helped so many people......and entities.

LLAM:  But that's what I do, when I do it.  Look at how much I've had to learn since I first became associated with you.......rather crazed entities here at Outlands Home.  And how much I've had to unlearn.  I never gave a thought to how a mortal person views their life, I thought that everyone was sort of distracted from the eternal view of things but that they knew it, you know, could readily turn and say "WTF was I thinking?"  I really did not know that so many people take their mortal lives as the only chance they'll ever have at getting things right.  What an awful thing to believe!

ROY:  Was Iehanne's description of life in her time any help?

LLAM:  Help?  My word, it was a terrible revelation!  That almost everyone believed that they were going to Hell when they died, no matter what they believed.  I cannot now blame poor Sara Jane for going on her little 550-year rampage, even though it cost her so dearly.  And things are not much better these days by what I've seen.  Almost everyone thinks that they are failures, inferior, doomed, damned, mentally ill.......why have a Church send you to Hell when you can live in it right here on Earth, while still mortal?   When we first met [2004] I was aware of television and the other media, but that you never watched it did not mean much to me for quite a while - until I watched some my own self.

ROY:  You've watched TV?

LLAM:  Yes.

ROY:  (smiling)  What did you watch?

LLAM:  Oh dear.  Well.  American Idol.  Jon Stewart.  Fox News and CCN.  Some other rubbish.  Oh yes, South Park.

ROY:  You watched South Park?

LLAM:  Yes!  I liked the big fellow, Eric Cartman.

ROY:  WHY?

LLAM:  He reminds me of you!

ROY:  (incoherent noise) wha-wha-WHAT?

LLAM:  Gotcha!  (laughs uproariously)

ROY: .......

LLAM:  Your mouth is open.

ROY:  ......

LLAM:  That's better.

LLAM:  Well!  How NICE to see you here!

ROY:  Mmmnrmph.

LLAM:  Why the reluctance?

ROY:  I feel like it will be hard to concentrate, I dunno........

LLAM:  Pish-tosh!  You'll do fine!  We have a lot to discuss.  And I want to have a guest with us today!

ROY:  Yeah, I know, that'll be cool.  Is this a first?

SEIMA:  It may be.  Thanks for having me, guys.

ROY:  Welcome, hon.  This is kinda overdue, isn't it!

SEIMA:  How so?

ROY:  You and I have never discussed our relationship in public.  I think it would benefit a number of people.

LLAM:  Oh, indeed.  I know that Roy has been telling people on chat how he met you, Seima, but perhaps we can do it from a different angle:  how about you telling how you met Roy?

SEIMA:  Now, there's a switch! (laughs)  I think that I'd like that!

ROY:  (with sudden interest)  Yeah!  After all, you met me too.

LLAM:  Exactly what I had in mind.

SEIMA:  I don't think that anyone has ever written about this before.  I should begin with my being involved with Roy at all.  Throughout history or time or whatever you wish to call, it, I have been the guide for numerous mortal human beings on ah, "mortal earth," shall we say.  The last one was a Dutch fellow named Lucas who was completely oblivious to my presence while he was alive.  He was killed during World War II and I was there to meet him when he died.  It took some work for him to adjust to how things are in what mortal people call the afterlife, but eventually he did and he decided to "go back" - to reincarnate.  I was left free to do whatever I wished, so I took a tour of the planet, taking in as much of the ugly as I did the beauty.  I happened upon a very disturbed young woman - your mother, Roy! - who was unwillingly pregnant with a baby.  She wasn't sure whether your father really was your father. 

ROY:  Well, I've thought about it.  But I look too much like the old man.

SEIMA:  The resemblance is even more pronounced from our perspective.  Well, she was a messed-up person.  She was grieving for her father, who had died a few years previous, and she had a number of problems about sexuality.  I connected with the baby she was carrying and had myself a new charge.  (looks at Roy mischievously) You!

LLAM:  You poor, poor dear!

ROY:  LLAM!

SEIMA: (chuckling)  When you were born, things did not go well.  Your mother folded up like a newspaper and was committed to a hospital with a diagnosis of severe depression.  She was, in practical terms, catatonic.

ROY:  Now, there's a bit of news.  For my whole life she would go on and on about her "nervous breakdown."  It wasn't until I was in my 30s that I got anything like a narrative out of her about it.  Between what she told me and what my father has said, she was a drama queen who demanded attention and my father and brother had pretty much decided to let her stew in her own juices, that she was too selfish and too demanding on them.  When she found she couldn't manipulate them, she just folded up into a fetal position and they took her away.

SEIMA:  Well, if you hadn't figured that out, I would have told you by now.  But that's a lot of it right there.  You were really injured by her not being there, and having that harridan of a grandmother filling in for her was downright cruel.  Do you remember when she locked you into your room with the lights out?

ROY:  Very clearly.  I kept saying that I wanted to see my mother and after only a little while of this, she told me to be quiet or she'd spank me and lock me into my room.  She did.  Tell you what though - that's the only time in my life that I remember my father being kind, or tender with me.  I remember feeling safe when he was around.  Now, I have to close this out ina minute because we'll be timed out soon, so I want to tell you, Seima, I had a couple of dreams of a "shining lady" when I was very small.  One of the dreams, the woman had black hair and glasses, but the other is more cloudy, I just know that I had it.  In each case, the woman was surrounded by a numinous light.  She smiled at me and told me that she loved me.  I remember telling my mother about at least one of the dreams.  She pretty much was all "Oh, really?" about it.  Now, let me guess - that was you.

SEIMA: The one which you say was cloudy would have been me, I appeared to you in dreams quite a number of times when you were small, you just never remembered them. But a woman with black hair and glasses?   It wasn't me and I don't know who it might have been.  Is the feeling of this memory the same as your memories of me at that time?

ROY:  Yeah, it is, the same light, the same feeling of being loved, the same general feeling of being safe......of well-being.

SEIMA:  Huh!  It's the glasses that get me!  We don't wear glasses because we don't need them.

ROY:  These things have a way of figuring themselves out.

SEIMA:  So you've noticed.

ROY:  (smiles)

SEIMA:  Anyway.  You were abused enough by your parents that you were pretty well shut off from me for a long time.  I mean, you really were beaten by them quite a bit.  And your mother's voice!  If there was ever a voice able to fill a little kid with terror, hers was.   There were many times I wish I could have strangled that bitch.  But what Llam asked was about our encounter over the city in the Outlands that you've called "T'Maq."  Good name, by the way.  You were nine years old, my dear, and not ten.  Your hormones had begun to kick in.

ROY:  (happily) I remember!

SEIMA:  (to Llam)  Talk about a kid with a new toy!  (Llam laughs)  I knew that there was a possibility of my intervening in your life while you were beginning to sexually mature.  Nothing like crzed amounts of hormones in the bloodstream, no sir!  Do you remember being depressed before that?

ROY:  In a general sort of way.  I was pretty unhappy because I realized how stuck I was with my parents and the feeling that school  was a lot like being in jail.  I began reading a lot more.  I stopped being active in a lot of ways, I no longer played.  My feeling was that the world sucked, my life sucked and I was trapped.

SEIMA:  Well......you were.  But the morning we met over T'Maq, I had been with you a lot, but you were so oblivious to me!  This morning I saw you get up, go to the john and go back to bed.  You were very happy that neither of your parents had caught you.

ROY:  I would have been forced to join them for breakfast.  What fun.  And then be given chores.  More fun.  Mostly house-cleaning.

SEIMA:  So there you were, and you went back to sleep.  Man, was I ever surprised!  You began dreaming and next thing you know, you came sailing out of yourself and went directly to the Outlands, just as if you'd done in a thousand times before.   In a way many of you mortal folks visit frequently, but you don't recall the visits very often.  So there you are, having a grand old time, and I caught up with you.  You were really moving along there, pal!  Then you looked at me and told me I was pretty and I took your hand.  This lasted maybe another 15 seconds and you started to wake up.  I was going to take you down into the city.

ROY:  I was impressed, I gotta say.  When I was called to get up, I did, but I was in a good mood.  I don't remember breakfast, but that in itself is a good thing, considering how breakfast usually went.

SEIMA:  Any time your mother said something to you, you answered with the right answer, like you were on automatic pilot.

ROY:  Channeling myself.

SEIMA:  Right!  But the memory of our visit was still very strong and you were happily absorbed by it.  Although it wouldn't be until we met again in 1991, I came away from that experience filled with the knowledge that someday, you were gonna make things happen.  (pauses)  And you have.

ROY:  I think I'm supposed to say, "I am only an egg" here.

LLAM:  It's quite a story, Seima.

SEIMA:  One of these days you ought to tell about your life with Sara Jane.

LLAM:  In due course I suppose I shall.  It's a bit more complex than your tale, though, in that it spans a few centuries and not a few decades.

SEIMA:  Roy has a way of packing years into a single day of his life.

LLAM:  You have a point.  (smiles)

ROY:  You wanna explain that?

SEIMA:  I've seen you do extraordinary amounts of work, physical and mental, in brief periods of time that would take anyone else days, weeks, months.  But I know why, too; you have a hyperability to focus on whatever it is holding your interest.

LLAM:  I've seen enough of that!

ROY:  Okay.  Seima.  Something on my mind, as long as we're here talking.

SEIMA:  Okay.  Go ahead.

ROY:  There are some ways in which I feel inexplicably bound up with you as a person, I mean, I can look back on my life and say, "Holy shit, she was there, and there," and it's just an amazing sense of.......being aware of your presence, your influence in my life.  And yet, I feel that I should be in love with you, feel a hell of a lot more love for you than I do.  What's up with that?

SEIMA:  Do you sometimes distrust me, even today?

ROY:  Yeah.

SEIMA:  The answer is in a question: have you ever had a mother?

ROY:  No.

SEIMA:  I mean, yeah, you had that biological person who carried you for nine months, but you didn't exist for her for the most part; when you did you were her victim.  That's not a "mother."

ROY:  Yeah, right.  The very word makes me uneasy.  Squeamish even.

SEIMA:  Well, SonShon discussed this a little bit with Anwarii a couple of years ago, do you recall?  (Roy nods)  You've never had a mother, and anything you associate with that word gives you a sense of revulsion.  (Roy nods again)  Well, for  lack of a better word, and despite our scant contact in your formative years, I'm the woman who has watched over you, tried to guide you, felt your sorrows and shared your joys.  I'm the closest thing you'll ever have to having a mother.

ROY:  That explains an awful lot of the mixed signals I have about you.  I thought it was me, and it looks like it was.  You know......(smiling)......when we re-established contact back in 1991, evn though I thought that I was going crazy, or had gone, I looked forward to our visits.  Those memories are golden.  You were a friend, wise teacher......I felt a unique love for you then.

SEIMA:  You're feeling it now.

ROY:  Yeah.

SEIMA:  Well, a little suggestion, set aside a little time whenever you can where we can talk like this.  It'll do a lot to clear the air.

ROY:  You got a deal, angel!

LLAM:  Marvelous!  Is this a pause, then?

ROY:  Seems like it, Blue.  We're about to get timed out again anyway.

LLAM:  But there is much more we might go over, so shall we attempt adding more later?

ROY:  Sure!  But for now I need to get away from this frigging computer!  (Llam and Seima laugh)

LLAM:  Very well, then.  Seima, thank you for joining us today!

ROY:  Yeah, thanks girl!

SEIMA:  Aww!  You're.....welcome, guys!